Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just had sex bonerless
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
