Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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