Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
