I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
