As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
