im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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