I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
