Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
