You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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