My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
ugly people sure do ruin things
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
