I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
