awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
