I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
