I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
