he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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