just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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