i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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