Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
