Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
