If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
