The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
