I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
