I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize