i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize