In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
