we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
