Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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