Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
