Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
