i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
