It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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