LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
