***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
