When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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