Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
True college students do jello shots in the library
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
