we're chasing vodka with high fives
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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