in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
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