I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
