Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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