my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
