the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
