Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
well you can't waste a boner
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
