Screwed.edu
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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