So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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