Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
