why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
