doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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