I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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