where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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