My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
