we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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