At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
there's paper in my vomit.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
