No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
