I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
