I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
