so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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