the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I have demons in me.
Your dad touched me again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
